Your Typical Family

Scripture: I Timothy 5:1-4

C.I.: The Sandwich Generation

During the month of April we are looking at “family.” We have seen how families have changed just
in the last few decades. Last week we discussed the ramifications of “The Guilt Verse” (Pro. 22:6).
Today we are going to look at a new type of family.

I. Responsibilities of Various Family Members

•  Introduction:

1. Definitions:
a. Sandwich Generation: People taking care of their aging parents who also have children in the home.
b. The Club Sandwich: People in their 50-60s who assist in the care of their parents, adult children and grandchildren
1) GRGs = Grandparents raising grandchildren
2) GAPs = Grandparents as parents
c. Open Face Sandwich: People in their 30-40s who deal with young children, aging parents and grandparents.

2. Understanding the evolution of this new situation…
a. At the beginning of the twentieth century, 4-7% of people in their 60s had at least one parent still living.
b. Today that figure is nearly 50% (improvement in senior healthcare)
c. In 1990 only 25% of young adults between 18-24 years lived with their parents
d. By 2000 the number had grown to 52% (and is still rising!).

•  Responsibilities of the Children/Grandchildren

•  Grandchildren must be trained to listen to their parents and grandparents.
a. ( Pro. 1:8 ), “Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and do not forsake your mother's
teaching.”
1) ( Pro. 23:22 ), “Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old.”
2) With so many things competing for our children's attention (IPod, cell phones, etc.), we must help our children learn the power that comes from listening to the wisdom of oldsters, ( Rom. 10:17 ), “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ.”

•  Yet listening that has not also been translated into “learning” is a waste of time. Children need to be trained to “learn.”
a. Wisdom comes from the word of God, ( cf. Matt. 7:24 ), “Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house
on the rock.” Our children can be taught by parents/grandparents.
1) Last week we saw “discipline” is not punishment, but is bringing someone to a sound way of thinking!
2) ( Pro. 13:1 ), “A wise son accepts his father's discipline, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.”
3) But what happens if we dismiss or demean our children's grandparents in front of our children? We are teaching them that their grandparents have no value! We are also wasting another set of eyes which will help to protect our children!

•  Our children need to be taught to respect their grandparents!
a. ( II Kgs. 2:23-24 ), “ As Elisha was walking up the path to Bethel, some small boys came out of the city and harassed him, chanting, “Go up, baldy! Go up, baldy!” He turned around,
looked at them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord .  Then two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.” RESPECT!
1) If your kids don't learn to respect older people NOW, how are they going to treat you LATER??!

•  Responsibilities of the Parents

1. Adult children need to see that the needs (physical, emotional, spiritual) of their parents are being met!
a. ( I Tim. 5:4 ), “If any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family, and to make some return to their parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God.”
1) “Piety” = Being dutiful to our natural obligations!
2) “Make some return” = Our parents provided for our needs when we could not take care of ourselves. It is now our turn to take care of their needs in the same way!

2. What has occurred is that some grandparents are seen as a burden instead of a blessing!
a. Paul warns, ( I Tim. 5:8 ), “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever!”
1) Regarding this, James writes, ( Jms. 1:27 ), “This is pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father, to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”
2) “Visit” = “to care of their needs.” ( Lk. 1:68 ), “Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, for He has visited us and accomplished redemption for His people.” When God “visited,” He met our greatest need, we need to do same!
3) Indeed, we may very well be judged on this basis. Or does Matt. 25:34-36 only applied to strangers? “ Then the king will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me a drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me, I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.'”

b. Jesus condemned those who used “God” as an excuse for not taking care of their parents!
1) ( Matt. 15:4-6 ), “God said, ‘Honor your father and your mother,' and ‘He who speaks evil of father or mother, let him be put to death.' But you say, ‘Whoever shall say to his father or his mother, “Anything of mine you might have been helped by has been given to God, he is not to honor his father or his mother.' Thus you invalidate the word of God for the sake of your tradition.”
2) If He doesn't accept “God” as an excuse for not taking care of our parents, how much less will He accept such excuses as; job, recreational activities, leisure time, hobbies, etc.?!!

3. We must never make our parents feel as though they are “a burden,” or are “in the way.”
a. Oregon in 1994 and Washington in 1998 both voted in laws allowing for physician-assisted suicide.
1) The two main reasons given for this action are; uncontrolled suffering, quality of life issues.
2) Yet it has been shown that if a person's pain is managed, and if they are not a “burden” to their loved ones, then those who considered euthanasia changed and refused it!!!
3) While families cannot control a loved one's pain, they can clearly help them see that they are not a burden (physically or emotionally) on the family!

b. As parents/children we need to demonstrate a Christ-like love to all, ( cf. I Jn. 3:16-18 ), “We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has the world's goods, and behold his brother (parent/grandparent) in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and in truth.”

•  Responsibilities of Grandparents
1. Grandparents are a tool for God and the parents to use to help in the spiritual growth of the grandchildren!
a. One of the great preachers, ( II Tim. 1:5 ), “For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your randmother Lois, and in your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well.”
1) And what did Lois do? She read to him Bible stories, ( Psa. 78:4, 6 ), “…Tell to the generation to come the praises of the Lord, and His strength and the wondrous works that He has done … that the generation to come might know, even the children yet
to be born, that they may arise and tell them to their children.”
2) How do I know this? ( II Tim. 3:15 ), “…that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you wisdom that leads to salvation which is through faith in Christ Jesus.”
3) This godly heritage will stay with our grandchildren for their entire life.

b. Four ideas for grandparents to help strengthen their grandkids and support their grandkids' parents!
1) Spend one-on-one time with them. This is “true riches/prosperity,” ( Psa. 128:5b-6 ),
“May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life. Indeed, may you see your children's children.”
2) Talk about the things that are important. You're not their babysitter, you are their grandparent.
3) If you are the “Grandpa,” now is your time to enjoy some “firsts” you missed the first time around while you were working – first steps, first words, first temper tantrums, etc.!
4) Give them gifts that only you can give:
a) Family Culture: “That's the way our family does things!”
b) Second Opinions: “Mom says…, what do you think grammy?!”
1) One of the best things we can do is support the parents in their child-rearing.
2) “Well honey, if that's what your mommy says, I know she loves you, so it must be what is best!”
3) If you have concerns about some issue, be sure to talk to the parents in private!
4) Live so that both the parents and the kids are glad to see you come, rather than to see you go!

c) A Bigger Audience: “Are grandma and grandpa coming to my recital?!”

CONCLUSIONS:

•  Family structures may not be “typical” of how they used to be. But the love and concern we are to have for our family must not have changed for the Christian (explain).

•  The one family where that love is constant is the family of God! If you are one of our guests today we ask you to consider from Jesus' standpoint if you have been born into His family, (cf. John 3:3, 5), “Jesus answered and said to him, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.' … Jesus answered, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.'” – ( Gal. 3:26-27), “For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. !