Your Typical Family

Scripture: Proverbs 22:1-6

C.I.: “Where Did I Go Wrong?! ”

Last week we began a new series on the topic of family. We looked at today's family and asked,
“Where Did We Go Wrong.” Today we will look at the Bible's “guilt verse” ( Pro. 22:6 ),
“Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
and ask, “Where Did I Go Wrong?!”

I. How Guilty Does the “Guilt Verse” (Proverbs 22:6) Make Me?!

•  Understanding the Nature of “Wisdom Literature”

1. A proper understanding of the purpose for wisdom literature helps us understand the nature of this verse.
a. What it says for itself, ( Pro. 3:1-4 ), “My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments; for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.
Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man.”
1) Thus, wisdom literature was written as good, practical advice for daily living.
2) We do the same things today, “A stitch in time saves nine,” “Look both ways before crossing a street,” etc.
3) You can cross a street without looking both ways and be okay, but it is safer to do it.

b. Wisdom literature should be distinguished from the type of biblical literature which is called,“Law” (Torah).
1) It is always wrong to not follow God's Law, (e.g., “Thou shalt not murder,” ( Ex. 20:13 ).
2) Murderers will not escape the judgment, ( Rev. 21:8 ), “But for the cowardly, and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone,
which is the second death.”
3) Yet a person may violate a Proverb and do so without sinning, (e.g., Pro. 21:9 ), “It is better to live in the corner of a roof, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”
- No condemnation ever mentioned!!!

c. There are different types of proverbs. So we need to learn how “Consequence Proverbs” are to be understood.
1) The first part of the verse is the divine advice, the second part is understood as the desired outcome.
2) ( Pro. 4:10 ), “Hear, my son, and accept my sayings, and the years of your life will be many.”
3) Yet regarding Jesus, ( I Pt. 2:22-23 ), “He committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth ; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously;”
4) Jesus was perfect in following every proverb, and yet He died as a young man. Were the Proverbs wrong?!!
5) Thus, the advice for us is to “train up our children,” but the desired outcome may not
always be 100%!

B. Various Human Examples and Divine Responses (Re: “Training Up a Child”)

1. Bible Examples of Sons Who did Not Follow Their Fathers…
a. First Father, ( Gen. 1:28; 2:16-17 ), “God blessed them; and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the
birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.'”… “The Lord God commanded the man, saying, ‘From any tree of the garden you may freely eat; but from the
tree of knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you shall surely die.”
1) Notice, God gave the man boundaries, and told him what he could do and what he couldn't do.
2) We know the story. Would we say God was responsible when His children chose to disobey Him??!

b. Good father and bad son, ( Ezek. 18:5-13 ), “‘If a man is righteous and practices justice and righteousness, and does not eat at the mountain shrines or lift up his eyes to the idols of the
house of Israel, or defile his neighbor's wife or approach a woman during her menstrual period – if a man does not oppress anyone, but restores to the debtor his pledge, does not commit robbery, but gives his bread to the hungry and covers the naked with clothing, if he does not lend money on interest or take increase, if he keeps his hand from iniquity and executes true justice between man and man, if he walks in My statutes and My ordinances so as to deal faithfully – he is righteous and will surely live, declares the Lord God. Then he may have a violent son who sheds blood and who does any of these things to a brother (though he himself did not do any of these things), that is, he even eats at the mountain shrines, and defiles his neighbor's wife, oppresses the poor and needy, commits robbery,
does not restore a pledge, but lifts up his eyes to the idols and commits abomination, he lends money on interest and takes increase; will he live? He will not live! He has committed all
these abominations, he will surely be put to death; his blood will be on his own head.” So is it always true that a good father will have a good son?!

c. Bad father and good son, ( Ezek. 18:14-19 ), “Now behold, he has a son who has observed all his father's sins which he committed, and observing does not do likewise. He does not eat at the mountain shrines or lift up his eyes to the idols of Israel, or defile his neighbor's wife, or oppress anyone, or retain a pledge, or commit robbery, but he gives his bread to the hungry and covers the naked with clothing, he keeps his hand from the poor, does not take interest or increase, but executes My ordinances, and walks in My statutes; he will not die for his father's iniquity, he will surely live. As for his father, because he practiced extortion, robbed his brother, and did what was not good among his people, behold, he will die for his iniquity. Yet you say, ‘Why should the son not bear the punishment for the father's iniquity?' When the son has practiced justice and righteousness and has observed all My statutes and done them, he shall surely live.” Is it possible to have a good son in spite of a bad father?!

2. Three Generations
a. ( II Chron. 28:1-3, 27 ), “Ahaz was twenty years old when he became king, and he reigned sixteen years in Jerusalem; and he did not do right in the sight of the Lord as David had done. But he walked in the ways of the kings of Israel; he also made molten images to the Baals. Moreover, he burned incense in the valley of Ben-hinnon, and burned his sons in fire, according to the abominations of the nations whom the Lord had driven out before the sons of Israel.” … “So Ahaz slept with his fathers, and they buried him in the city, in Jerusalem, for they did not bring him into the tombs of the kings of Israel; and Hezekiah his son reigned in his place.”

b. ( II Chron. 29:1-2 ), “Hezekiah became king when he was twenty-five years old; and he reigned twenty-nine years in Jerusalem. And his mother's name was Abijah, the daughter
of Zechariah. And he did right in the sight of the Lord, according to all that his forefather David had done.”

c. ( II Chron. 32:33-33:3 ), “So Hezekiah slept with his fathers, and they buried him in the upper section of the tombs of the sons of David; and all Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem honored him at his death. And his son Manasseh became king in his place. Manasseh was twelve years old when he became king, and he reigned fifty-five years in Jerusalem. He did evil in the sight of the Lord according to the abominations of the nations
whom the Lord dispossessed before the sons of Israel. For he rebuilt the high places which his father Hezekiah had broken down; he also erected altars for the Baals and made Asherim,
and worshiped all the hosts of heaven and served them.”
1) Three generations of kings and each chose to go a different direction from their parents!

3. God's response is personal accountability ( ILLUST. Outcry against Koran-burning; smoking papers or men's choices?)
a. ( Ezek. 18:20 ), “The soul that sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father's iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment of the son's iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked
will be upon himself.”

b. But we can repent, ( Ezek. 18:21 ), “But if the wicked man turned from all his sins which he has committed and observes My commandments and statutes and practices justice and
righteousness, he shall surely live; he shall not die.”

c. ( Ezek. 18:24 ), “But when a righteous man turns away from his righteousness, commits iniquity, and does according to all the abominations that a wicked man does, will he live? All his righteous deeds which he has done will not be remembered for his treachery which he has committed and his sin which he has committed; for them he shall die.”


C. So What Can We Do While we “Train up a child in the way he should go” ?!

1. Do the best that we can! (Parents are not accountable for their children's actions, but we are for our own!!)
a. ( Eph. 6:4 ), “Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
1) “Discipline” = A sound mind. Let them see that choices (good/bad) have consequences.
2) ( Heb. 12:7-9 ), “It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live?”
3) “Instruction” = knowledge of God's will. ( Deut. 6:6-7 ), “These words which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.”

2. Trust God (who loves our children far more than we do) to make up for what we lack!
a. ( Heb. 12:5b-6, 9-11 ), “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor faint when you are reproved by Him; for those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and He scourges every son whom He receives.' … “Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to to discipline us; and we respected them; shall we not rather be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He
disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.”

1) We do the best we can while they are young (recognizing that our best efforts fall short of perfection).
2) But we recognize even then that God will work their whole lives to save them!

3. Recognize our children also have a responsibility to learn and grow the best that they can!
a. ( Pro. 1:8 ), “Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and do not forsake your mother's teaching.”

b. Or as it says in the New Testament, ( Eph. 6:1-3 ), “Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and your mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.”

CONCLUSIONS: Teach your kids, pray like crazy for them. Trust that God won't give up on them or on you!

Maybe you are one who has been away from God but want to turn back? (Acts 2:36-38, 41), “Therefore let all the house of Israel know for certain that God has made Him both Lord and Christ – this Jesus whom you crucified. Now when they heard this, they were pierced to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, ‘Brethren, what shall we do?' Peter said to them, ‘Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”… “So then, those who had received his word were baptized; and that day there were added about three thousand souls.”